I Just Like Talking At You.

Alright kids, today we're going to talk about life and pursuing your dreams across a rainbow.

Or as close as I can to that, at the very least.

So, I've gotten into the swing of things in college. The verdict? I'm awful at it, mostly. At least, that's the impression I get as I get back all these first exams, especially the one I thought studying for three days was a good amount of time (the most time I've probably spent studying for anything ever, really) and then end up with a D+.

Like, I can still pass the class, I just need to work my ass off for it when exams come up again, since they're kind of the only thing the class is graded on. It's a scary switch from Southern CT, which felt like I was still in High School, which I was fine with.

So, you may ask, "Louie, I don't want to hear your bullshit about you being bad at things, what's this got to do with my dreams?" and to that I will tell you to turn off your computer and go have lunch. Not lunchtime? Continue reading. After watching some interviews of creative types I admire, it hit me that I seriously need to pursue this art shit, and that I need to get my shit together academically and creatively. Both need to be expanded on so I can be better at things. 

I've learned a lot recently thanks to some life-changing events in my life within, oh, I'd go as far to say the past year or so. I went through the beginning and end of my father's kidney disease, with a new kidney from my loving aunt who said that I was the reason she did this, and I couldn't help but burst into tears, which were on top of the tears already happening as I was thanking her for everything hours before the operation. This brought back the faith I lost a long time ago, and gave me a reminder of the love and good in the world.

With that in mind, I'm going to do a 180 here and talk about shitty things moderately okay people have done to me as of late. 

This might seem...childish for lack of a better world, but I've also learned honesty is important, and being upfront in saying that when someone tries to walk back into your life, then told the next day you're pestering them and to stop talking to them, then she's a total bitch. No nice-nice message there. It did teach me that I sometimes make poor decisions regarding friendships, though in the end I sort of end up feeling like I was in the right throughout it all. This applies to other stupid dramatic nonsense of this past summer, but FUCK SAD SHIT I'M GONNA GO BACK TO THE MOTIVATING STUFF OKAY?

OKAY GOOD

The point of all of that is to really find a balance between the good and the bad, and that eventually there will be a comfortable middle zone you'll be satisfied with. I think that I'm that zone now, and I've gotten back on the creative grind, poopin' out doodles and messing around with SAI and different brush types.

Lookit this doodle. Is beautiful. Or not. NOW I HATE IT

Seriously though, looking up different things to create pencil-like drawing digitally is sweet, man. See, I just art for a bit and then:

Though it may look like a five year old drew it, I'm proud. Working on new and unique ways to expand upon art is hella fun. I seriously recommend to all who have a hobby try to push some boundaries on it, and find some new ways to experiment with what you love. 

Don't take that in any sexual context, though.

You stay away from that, you're too young.