I Just Like Talking At You.

Alright kids, today we're going to talk about life and pursuing your dreams across a rainbow.

Or as close as I can to that, at the very least.

So, I've gotten into the swing of things in college. The verdict? I'm awful at it, mostly. At least, that's the impression I get as I get back all these first exams, especially the one I thought studying for three days was a good amount of time (the most time I've probably spent studying for anything ever, really) and then end up with a D+.

Like, I can still pass the class, I just need to work my ass off for it when exams come up again, since they're kind of the only thing the class is graded on. It's a scary switch from Southern CT, which felt like I was still in High School, which I was fine with.

So, you may ask, "Louie, I don't want to hear your bullshit about you being bad at things, what's this got to do with my dreams?" and to that I will tell you to turn off your computer and go have lunch. Not lunchtime? Continue reading. After watching some interviews of creative types I admire, it hit me that I seriously need to pursue this art shit, and that I need to get my shit together academically and creatively. Both need to be expanded on so I can be better at things. 

I've learned a lot recently thanks to some life-changing events in my life within, oh, I'd go as far to say the past year or so. I went through the beginning and end of my father's kidney disease, with a new kidney from my loving aunt who said that I was the reason she did this, and I couldn't help but burst into tears, which were on top of the tears already happening as I was thanking her for everything hours before the operation. This brought back the faith I lost a long time ago, and gave me a reminder of the love and good in the world.

With that in mind, I'm going to do a 180 here and talk about shitty things moderately okay people have done to me as of late. 

This might seem...childish for lack of a better world, but I've also learned honesty is important, and being upfront in saying that when someone tries to walk back into your life, then told the next day you're pestering them and to stop talking to them, then she's a total bitch. No nice-nice message there. It did teach me that I sometimes make poor decisions regarding friendships, though in the end I sort of end up feeling like I was in the right throughout it all. This applies to other stupid dramatic nonsense of this past summer, but FUCK SAD SHIT I'M GONNA GO BACK TO THE MOTIVATING STUFF OKAY?

OKAY GOOD

The point of all of that is to really find a balance between the good and the bad, and that eventually there will be a comfortable middle zone you'll be satisfied with. I think that I'm that zone now, and I've gotten back on the creative grind, poopin' out doodles and messing around with SAI and different brush types.

Lookit this doodle. Is beautiful. Or not. NOW I HATE IT

Seriously though, looking up different things to create pencil-like drawing digitally is sweet, man. See, I just art for a bit and then:

Though it may look like a five year old drew it, I'm proud. Working on new and unique ways to expand upon art is hella fun. I seriously recommend to all who have a hobby try to push some boundaries on it, and find some new ways to experiment with what you love. 

Don't take that in any sexual context, though.

You stay away from that, you're too young.

I'M AN ADULT

Oooooooooooopsie.

SO LIKE, I'm in college now. Like, living there and having that college experience and shit. It's been pretty interesting first two weeks. Not as different as I imagined. Still working life out, though, as usual. Over-thinking my possible paths is pretty common lately.



Mainly, I've been thinking a lot about the decisions I need to make as I'm becoming an "adult". Or more of one, whatever. Trying to decide on a major by Christmas, so I can finally be set on SOMETHING because my word I'm so unsure about life.

Inner monologues go like so:

So after that happening roughly a dozen times I'm still throwing around many ideas. Some are more crazy than others, and it also depends on how much I start pushing myself as an artsy fartsy kid, and if I actually take some time to work on the things that I love. Or, you know, SAY I LOVE. 

See, I draw on occasion, and practically forced myself to blog, except I'm totally in the pumped mindset to leak creativity juices everywhere [creativity juices? gross].

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let me add in why I chose the title of this blog.

I got a job.

I'm working at phone center for school donations, which in my eyes is pretty much a glorified telemarketing station. 

However, I'm trying to NOT be a cynical ass about the job, since I'll be doing it for pretty much this year, unless I somehow find another job or decide to do something dumb. Neither seem likely though. For the most part I'm just trying to not have an anxiety attack about the whole damn thing, and learn to go with the flow and be a little desensitized to this line of work.

I think I'll survive, maybe? Who the hell knows. For now, I'm just gonna try and do college right. Speaking of which, I need to go find some pants to put on. It's cold in here. 

I love central air in this room though oh my word it's been heaven

Old People Problems.

Hey.

Well, I'm 19. That's pretty okay, I guess. 

The part that isn't okay, however, is that I've been running on about a two hour power-nap because something doesn't feel right. 

Now, it could be just be bad taco bell, but I'll cut the jokes for a second to admit that I don't feel good. I haven't been great lately, and it's partially why I haven't tried to be creative, but today feels more off than usual. 

So, it hit me. I have to be honest and just ADMIT I'm doing shitty. Why? Well, I am an open guy, so open I'm willing to have strangers and friends alike read these things and sort of know me a bit better. I usually use it to be like "OH GUYS, I KNOW I'M AN ASS SOMETIMES BUT I'M STILL LOVING 'N JUNK" but again, this is different.

Don't worry though, I'm not going to give you many personal specifics, as even I draw the line on how much I spew out onto the internet. I will, however, tell you that it's taking a lot of time to find a way to describe my day with any added humor. Well, one highlight would be me finding a $200 dollar check in the mail, think it's time to treat myself for like ~$40 fat pack o' Magic cards (uh-oh.addictionnnnn) and then go to my car to discover that my car's rear view mirror has become unstuck from the windshield, and I will have to wait until my dad comes home in 5 hours to figure out what to do, and by then banks are closed for the weekend. 

(I have 0 idea what is supposed to be going on in the back of that car, by the way)

I tried to go to sleep, but no such luck. So I'm here, finally being honest with myself and for some reason this blog. It's kind of a weird urge, really, to prefer this to a private diary. Maybe I just like attention. Okay, I do like attention, but this is different.

I think I'm a bit of a fool to have put this off, really. These last couple of months have been rough for their own reasons, none of which I am comfortable talking about here. Don't worry, nothing drastic, just keeping people out of my life that need to stay out is all. Since I never wanted to talk about it, and that was all that was on my mind, I didn't have any urges to make comics or blogs. Just didn't feel right. 

Then I said "FUCKIT" and did this.

Getting back on track, I didn't feel right today. I don't know if it was my new age kicking in, bad timing on life problems, or some other bigger thing slowing me down. I think I'll get past it though, everyone does eventually. 

SPEAKING OF EVENTUALLY, I never finished those friend comics from facebook. 

I'll try to do something about that, maybe? I ain't promising shit. 

Now I know I've come back to blog yet again on an iffy/sad note, but look on the bright side! I got a birthday email from that website that made me an official minister!

Did I never mention that? I'm an official minister. I do weddings. Call me!

So This Is Overdue. (Or: My Music Playlists and Other Crap)

Well, whoopsie. Someone got distracted by life. 

This is me we are talking about, FYI.

You got that, right?

Alright. Just checking.

So, I missed you. A lot.

Yes, you.

The world apparently kept on turning despite me not blogging in months, and unfortunately this one will have no pictures, so I think I have to make up for it with clever writing. How I'll actually be clever is something I'll work out in the next 20 to 30 minutes or so (I hope it works out).

My time for drawing and writing have been on two totally different wavelengths, so making blogs have not really worked out. I decided to just go with my writing instincts tonight, and let the drawing go for another day. If you'd like,  you can draw your own picture and paste it, like, here:

That's as much space as you get, okay? Make it count.

So, hmm, so many topics, so little urge to write about any of them.

I'm attempting to be more organized, as my move to UConn will involve some probably better habits forming, such as organization and cleanliness. I have these now, of course, but...they need work.

So I've decided to work on tiding up the more important things, like my music library. That's important, right? Please tell me it is. I've spent about an hour working it out. I've got 5 playlists set up, each with a nice theme that defines a majority of my music tastes. So let me take the time to explain them:

The first is "Comedy", which is the standard David Cross, Louis CK, Lewis Black, and Mitch Hedberg that provides 7 hours of laughs. It'd probably make a road trip more bearable, unless someone hates Lewis Black. He takes up a lot of the time. It's sort of old, but I think people still like hearing the Bush administration get made fun of once in a while.

Next is "Shh, Slow Down.", a short hour of sort of relaxing music that I managed to scrounge up. It'd be nice for a ride home at night, though it might make me fall asleep at the wheel. Or get deep and philosophical, which is the equivalent of me falling asleep as my mind will be thinking "Is my life improving?" as I crash into a tree or something. Might delete this playlist, on second thought.

"Ska-Central" is 4.3 hours of pure brass and sex to my ears, and has the ability to make me super-happy and awake. The ska trifecta: Reel Big Fish, Streetligth Manifesto, and Mad Caddies are simply fantastic. I googled to see if I'm using trifecta right, then I got confused and didn't learn anything from that. So anyway, go google those guys or something. Spotify it.

YOU LIKE THAT DUBSTEP MAN? WELL FUCK YOU, I HAVE NONE OF THAT IN "WUBWUB". It's actually just like three and a half hours of Pendulum. Bliss.

Now, this last one is "Loud Angst, Oops". This is...well, my word. Somehow I lasted like a year on nothing but Disturbed and KoRn, keeping an angry and violent rhythm that I JUST CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO. I don't know what it is! I'll never be able to let it go. Though those aren't the only ones in there, as I throw in a little My Chemical Romance, Celldweller, MSI, and...well, Fall Out Boy. Maybe "Guilty Pleasures" is a better title.

If I did that, though, I'd have to add Abba onto it...doesn't fit the theme too well.

Anyway, figured I'd try and get back into the swing of talking at myself to show the internet I'm rad, so I happily welcome Summer and all the creativity it may bring.

So goodnight! Or good morning. Either way, brush your teeth. 

Dental hygiene is important.

It's Been A Month?

It's been a long week.

I didn't realize how long it has been since, you know, making them blogs. How have you been? You can't answer as I'm typing this, so I'll keep going while you think about it. My life? Well, here. Take this:

College work is not too bad, took two midterms this week. Despite apparently everyone else getting grades from other professors the day after, one of mine isn't accessible online and the other isn't being graded until after spring break.

Oh, did I mention spring break?

I'M TOTALLY ON SPRING BREAK 2012, WOO

Time to celebrate with a large amount of internet, drawing, TV shows, and oh well I guess seeing my friends when it is convenient for me. I will without a doubt be relaxing, though. Relaxing and thinking. I know thinking can dangerous to my health, but I've seen that I have strayed away from habits I used to be known for. Going to be going into, I dunno, some zen mode and fix myself. I'll add it to my to-do list on the fridge, though it IS pretty full right now...

Workin' on that third one. Wanna help?

You don't get to help.

I mean, you could. This is getting weird, though. We'll talk.

Anywho, working on comics, and doing lots of drawing and putting myself together in a more proper manner. Hold me to it, so you can yell at me if I mess up. More blogs too. Probably. Yes.

SPRING BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK

Humor: A Virtue?

IT IS NOW. Now, the following work is going to be an actual philosophy blog post due on Sunday for a new class. However, I feel it works to put it over here too!

Laugh Until It's Virtuous:

Comedians have the age old role of creating laughter in the hearts of their listeners. Whether it's letting out a giggle, or laughing so hard you'll cry, having a sense of humor is what makes it all happen. Although everyone enjoys a joke or two, it seems possibly ridiculous to think that it's a virtue, right? While it has always been around, it's strange to think of it as an excellent trait necessary for all human beings. Humor can be offensive, and not fit the ideas of a perfect or morally acceptable quality. Others can claim that you may not be funny at all!

While this is a possibility, previous virtues stated by the Greek philosopher Plato are just as subjective and arguable. In his writings, he makes claims that piety, justice, wisdom, courage, and moderation are all virtuous acts. To make my own argument, humor must have a definition. If humor is to be a virtue, it is possessing the qualities to be amusing, and create comedy and laughter for others. You do this by finding out what causes others to laugh, and use that as a guideline to work on creating more jokes that appeal to many different people. Now clearly this is nothing like the ideas that surround wisdom or justice, but bringing others joy is a quality that all men need. Last time  It is always better to make someone happy rather than to cause them harm, and humor is one of the best ways to do it. To put it in an easier way, I'll format it to a Barbara argument, a categorical syllogism that provides a sound argument:

1. All attempts to make others happy are virtuous.

2. All humorous deeds are attempts to make others happy.

3. Therefore, all humorous deeds are virtuous.  

Humor also acts as a shield to the atrocities and other general unpleasant acts of the world around them. If others are down when times are tough, a person who is humorous can cheer them up in an instant, with attempts to make light of a disaster, or another topic to distract them and make them laugh. It can calm down those who are angry, which can then teach them a lesson on what they need to do to become better people. Learning the ideas that surround humor can do nothing but benefits those around you, and can certainly be considered a virtue.

Lots Of Thinking.

This one's probably going to be long. Two major parts though, so here's the first one.

I don't want to be an art major.

Okay, that probably didn't need to be in large text all dramatic like, but I figured it grabs people's attention. 

I've had a sudden epiphany a day or so ago, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I know most 'young adults' are in the same situation I'm in, but I feel like I was late to the party. Being gun-ho on graphic design (a field I know NOTHING about) and ready to take every art class imaginable. I've started two, and I realized I don't want to learn every aspect of art. Or the history of it. I mean, I'm open to learning new things, but I don't want to make this my life. Truth be told, it was quite frightening when I realized it. I immediately thought of alternatives.

Teacher?

I do love the idea of teaching kids, maybe even more than comics and blogging. 

Shitty part is, I have NO IDEA WHAT I COULD TEACH.

If there was a "Life Basics" elective in high schools I could teach that shit. I'd continue to use my golden rule: "Do as I say, not as I do".

However, that requires CONSTANT learning and lots of other hard things. Years of work. Next.

Therapist?

I forgot to mention all older versions of me have gone bald on top. It's sort of a prediction if I don't end up shaving it all off. The therapist/helping job seems rewarding and would feed my hero complex, but I think I'd end up being incredibly upset or depressed from that line of work. Also, that may even be more work than a teacher. I'd have to maybe even become a doctor. Ew. I can't doctor things.

Then I ran out of ideas for my future because I don't have that much in mind.

I just thought, "...fuck this, I just want to draw things on the internet" and that was that.

To admit my lack of brains, I only learned yesterday what a liberal arts degree ACTUALLY is.

...actually, I just googled it, and now I'm not sure again. Though I felt like it was just a degree of having x amount of credits and not having a main focus. I like that idea. I like it a lot.

Maybe one day I'll have a better idea, but for now, I need to schedule an appointment with my college counselor and work some stuff out.

NOW IN CASE YOU FORGOT, THERE'S A PART 2. RIGHT NOW.

I FEEL FUNNY.

As the picture may entail, it's not a good kind of funny.I can't pinpoint where or why, but it's happened right as the new semester started. It's been a combination of a few odd things here and there.

Every day coming home from classes, despite having hours of free time, just spent it doing almost nothing. I have been constantly tired. I've fallen asleep on my couch pretty much every night before my dad wakes me up and tells me I should move to my bed. 

I've been basically 'napping' around 7-8pm and end up sleeping at like 9, to wake up at 5:30am. I also wake up a few times during the night, and just immediately go back to sleep. Some of it is from dreams.

To add onto this, I really haven't remembered a dream in what feels like months, maybe even a year.

For the last 2 weeks, I've been having dreaming every night, and remembering most of them. It's a weird variety. Stuff like going on dates while commenting on KFC (which is an ice cream place now) telling almost all my close friends I have lung cancer, and demanding more food from robots which makes me some rebel leader in Disneyland or something. Some are nice, but most have been depressing/bizzare. I've learned to forget most of them now.

Anyways, I haven't had a sleep pattern like this in years. I mean, it's 7:51, and I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. I know I'd just wake up before the sun is up if I went to bed now though. 

Though besides all of that...I just feel off. Not right. It may have to do with the constant thinking about the rest of my life, which now that I think about it more makes a lot of sense.

I need to do less thinking. Except I have no desire to do much else. I know I have reading and sketches to do, but none of it is top priority. Just...thinking. 

A good reality check'll clear things up. 

With that said, I totally need a job.

Any job.

Willing to change sleep patterns. Again. 

Preferably without heavy lifting, but beggars can't be choosers.

OKAY, SO ON THE BRIGHTER END OF THIS SHIT-FILLED POST:

I've gotten my music back on track. 

I am no longer trying to find some kind of pop or club hit to randomly motivate me/make me dance. I downloaded another Mad Caddies album, and man they rock. Also, The Protomen. Just...dear lord. They're astounding. Both of these artists blast out of my car stereo at the moment, and I don't care who in New Haven doesn't like it on the way home from school. 

Okay...I do sort of care. People get shot in New Haven, man.

Or at the least, judged.

Being judged is just as bad.

I Got Them Tumbles

While I like making lovely blogs, there are times where I wish I could just make random doodles.
Maybe one day I'll also draw comics regularly again...but for now, I will now say that I've made a tumblr.

http://difficultycomprehending.tumblr.com/

Don't worry though! Blogs will continue as often as they can.
Though please, I encourage questions on the tumblr so I may draw things to answer them. Admitedly, I've always wanted to do things like that. So it's like a formspring, but better.

HOLD IT UP, ROUND 2

 (THE REALITY IS, I'VE MELLOWED OUT AT ROUGHLY 4:30, BUT I'M STILL USING ALL-CAPS FOR LATE NIGHT POSTING. CARRY ON WITH READING.)

SO MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS STILL FUCKED. ALSO, I'VE FALLEN ILL TO A COLD THAT I MORE THAN LIKELY GOT FROM MY DAD. IT MAKES MY THROAT SORE AND AWFUL, SO I FIGURE IF I DON'T SLEEP, MY THROAT CAN'T DRY OUT.

SOLID LOGIC, RIGHT? ANYWAY, HERE'S SOME OF THE THINGS I'VE DONE TODAY:

1. ALMOST PLACED A WATER JUG INTO A MICROWAVE.

(ONLY TO STOP BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T FIT)

BIZARRE, RIGHT? 

OH, I FORGOT TO MENTION I ALSO GOT REALLY DYHDRATED OR SOME OTHER KIND OF ALTERATION TO THE COLD, BECAUSE MY MIND HAS BEEN COMING AND GOING ALL DAY. SO THAT HAPPENED. MY DAD ASKED IF I WAS MAKING TEA.

I ALMOST THOUGHT ABOUT MAKING IT, TOO. EXCEPT THAT WOULDN'T WORK. AND I DON'T LIKE TEA THAT MUCH.

2. STARTED TO REMOVE MY PANTS FOR NO REASON.

SERIOUSLY.

DON'T WORRY LADIES, I DIDN'T DARE DRAW ANYTHING YOUR PRETTY LITTLE EYES COULDN'T BEAR TO SEE (IN A HOT WAY, I SWEAR. DON'T READ THAT THE WRONG WAY.)

SO YEAH, I WAS DOWNSTAIRS, GETTING UP TO GET WATER, BUT THEN I THOUGHT FOR SOME REASON I SHOULD START PULLING MY PANTS DOWN.

THANKFULLY, I THOUGHT "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING" AND PULLED THEM UP. NO ONE WAS HOME. AGAIN, HOPE NO ONE HAS HIDDEN CAMERAS IN MY HOUSE.

HATE TO BURST YOUR LAUGH BUBBLE, BUT THESE ARE THE LAST TOTALLY RANDOM THINGS I DID TO MYSELF. MOVING ONTO SOMETHING LESS ZANY.

3. CONSUMED ORANGE THINGS

(AKA: ORANGE IS A LOUIE'S BEST FRIEND)

WHAT YOU SEE IS ESSENTIALLY MY DIET TODAY. ALL TO FIX MY THROAT. ORANGE IS DELICIOUS. SO IS PASTA, BUT MIX IT WITH THE SAUCES AND YOU BASICALLY GOT ORANGE. YELLOW + RED, BABY.

I JUST NOTICED I FORGOT TO DRAW JELLO. GODDAMMIT LOUIE, JELLO IS DELICIOUS.

4. PLOTTED THE BEST VIDEO GAME EVER.

(DON'T WORRY JARED, THE DETAILS ARE BETWEEN US)

NOW YOU MAY NOTICE THERE ISN'T AN IMAGE IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT.

"WHAT GIVES, YOU ASS? I JUST LIKE LOOKING AT PICTURES."

HOLD YOUR SERVING SIZE THERE BILLY, BUT I NEED TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.

I WAS 'COMMISSIONED' TO THINK OF AN IDEA FOR THE NEXT BIGGEST GAME EVER, FROM  THIS GUY WHO IS GOING TO PROGRAM IT AND MAKE ME MONEY. 

THE FOLLOWING IMAGE IS A CONCEPT ART OF THE CURRENCY SYSTEM...THAT HE IS COMPLETELY UNAWARE THAT I DREW. (SPOILER: IT'S IN POUNDS)

"THAT IS CLEARLY WHAT BRITISH CURRENCY LOOKS LIKE LOUIE, GOOD JOB" - ME

5. MAKE ANOTHER SILLY BLOG.

THIS SHIT IS META NOW.

I'M USING META CORRECTLY, YES?

WELL, THE BLOG TRAIN MAKES IT STOP HERE FOR NOW. SO, NOTHING TOO NEW WITH ME, EXCEPT-

I FORGOT TO DRAW MY FACIAL HAIR TO THE PICTURES OF ME

WELL I'LL REMEMBER NOW THAT I JUST GOT PRETTY UPSET BY THAT. STUPID LOUIE. NOW WHAT CAN YOU DO TO FIX THIS.

WAIT, OH I KNOW

YOU SHOULD LOOK AT THE REAL ART PROGRESS I THINK I'M MAKING ON CARTOONS.

I THINK IT'S PRETTY NICE, BUT I KNOW I HAVE SOME NASTY COMMENTS ABOUT IT BECAUSE ALL ARTISTS HATE THEIR WORK AT TIMES. 

OKAY JUST LOOK AT IT NOW OK

FOR SOME REASON, I DREW THE DEAD ZOMBIE ME FIRST...THEN WORKED ON THIS GUY ON THE RIGHT. ALSO, SINCLAIR NEEDS SOME LOVE ONCE IN A WHILE.

BALLOONS GET LONELY.

WHO SLEEPS?

HEY BOYS AND GIRLS, IT'S TIME TO MEET ME EARLY IN THE MORNING. FILLED WITH ENERGY FROM NOT SLEEPING.

THAT MAKES SENSE, RIGHT?

BEE-TEE-DUBZ, I'M WRITING THIS FROM MY NEW COMPUTER. I LOVE IT. THOUGH...I THINK SOMETHING ABOUT IT IS KEEPING MY CAPS LOCK PERMANENTLY ON.

IS THAT OBNOXIOUS? MAYBE.

NEW THING: ALL CAPS BLOGS = I HAVE NOT SLEPT IN A LONG TIME/PULLING AN ALL-NIGHTER (RIGHT NOW)/REALLY HYPER BECAUSE OF A COOL THING

EXCEPT THAT LIKE ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE TRUE RIGHT NOW.
FUCK, I HOPE YOU'RE STILL READING THIS. TRUST ME, I TURN THIS INTO A BLOG BUT JUST ALL CAPS IN LIKE RIGHT NOW.



SO, I WAS ORIGINALLY GOING TO DOWNLOAD LEFT 4 DEAD 2 AND THEN GO TO SLEEP. THEN...I REMEMBERED I HAD SPOTIFY TO DOWNLOAD. SO I DID THAT...THEN MUSIC HAPPENED. I'LL GO MORE INTO THAT LATER. SO, THEN I DECIDED TO DOWNLOAD EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO DRAW. SO THEN DRAWING I DID.

THE FIRST THING I DID WAS SOMETHING ABOUT A GUY WHO HAD 3-D EYE SURGERY.

THIS IDEA WAS STUPID. I LIKED THE SCREAMING THOUGH.

I CONTINUED TO DRAW. AS I DID, I THOUGHT 

"HOLY SHIT. I NEED TO BLOG." 

EXCEPT I TOTALLY GOT DISTRACTED BY REDDIT.

TURNS OUT, REDDIT CAN MAKE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW.

SO AFTER THAT DISTRACTION, I WENT ONTO ANOTHER ONE.

SPOTIFY.

SO, I MENTIONED BEFORE I WAS ROAMING THIS LITTLE MUSIC DOO-DAD, AND THEN I FOUND A PLAYLIST OF LIKE ALL THE POPULAR SONGS OF 2011.

TURNS OUT, I LIKED HALF OF THESE SONGS THAT WERE FROM PROM OR OTHER PLACES I MAY HAVE HEARD PARTY MUSIC. I HAVE NO IDEA IF THESE SONGS ARE STILL RELEVANT TO ALL THEM HIP KIDS (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH HIPSTERS), BUT I DON'T CARE. I KNEW THAT ONE SONG BY PINK THOUGH. I DANCED HARD TO THAT.

IT WAS SICK.

EXCEPT NOW I AM CONSTANTLY REPLAYING SOME USHER SONG. LET ME CHECK THE NAME..."MORE - REDONE JIMMY POKER REMIX".

I MEAN IT THIS TIME WHEN I SAY I ACTUALLY GOT UP AND DANCED TO THIS LIKE I WOULD IF I WAS TRYING TO ACTUALLY DANCE. I HOPE NO ONE SAW ME AT 5AM.

HOWEVER, IT MADE ME THINK OF IF I WAS MISSING A LEG AND WENT TO A DANCE CLUB. IF IT WAS A METAL BAR, I COULD LIKE...MAKE SPARKS ON THE DANCE FLOOR IF I DANCED HARD ENOUGH.

I'LL PROBABLY CUT MY LEG OFF SOON.

ALSO, DID YOU NOTICE THAT LAST DRAWING OF ME HAD THE WEIRD FACIAL HAIR?

I'M GROWING THAT OUT. FINGERS CROSSED FOR A GOATEE IN LIKE 2 MONTHS.

ANYWAY, AFTER THAT, I STARTED TO MESS AROUND WITH SAI'S CRAYON.

I WAS THINKING OF CREATING SOME CUTE COMIC FOR LADIES WITH THEM, BUT THEN I THOUGHT "FUCK THAT" AND THEN I CONTINUED TO WRITE THIS BLOG.

MY WORK AREA REEKS OF KETCHUP. I'M SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. I SWEAR I'M NOT HIGH OR ANYTHING THOUGH. BESIDES, IF YOU READ THIS BLOG YOU MORE THAN LIKELY KNOW ME FAIRLY WELL, AND WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO ASSUME SUCH GIBBERISH.

FUCK YOU SPOTIFY COMMERICALS, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SPRITE OR TWITTER

GODDAMN

I'M GOING TO GO DANCE MORE

DID YOU WANT TO SEE THAT?

WELL

HERE'S A GLIMPSE AGAIN FOR YOU

Adding Humor to Life is Hard.

Though right now I'm going to try my best.

First off, I'm making the somewhat cliche warning that I'm writing this starting at...12:48 in the morning. I have no deadlines, just a head full of confusion and wondering about my life. Others, too, but I'm trying to work on myself before I work on dealing with other people.

Problem is, dealing with people is part of my problem.

I'm trying to find the right version of "me" to deal with the new directions my life should be going in. It's more than just social issues though.

I've tried drawing every day. The issue with this is that either it doesn't happen because I want to be social, or it ends up looking awful to me, and I see no good doodles or improvement.

Also, most are done at like...2-3 in the morning. Not the best time to do it.

Besides that, I developed some kind of apathy that allows me to be god awful at receiving presents. Though I may be choosing to make the mistake of revealing personal life on the internet anyway, I'm going to refrain from writing/drawing every detail. Here's the short version.

So, I've basically decided upon asking strictly for money to eventually use it for whatever I need come the next several holidays until I learn common courtesy in this area.

I've made out like a bandit though. My friend is almost done building me a goddamn gaming computer, something I've never had the beauty to experience. Picked up some video games through steam and on xbox. I have new noise canceling headphones that alienate me from the world when I need it, and I can still somewhat use my old headphones when I just want my bass and other audiophile nitpickings. Google chrome says nitpickings isn't a word. It also took forever to spell-check courtesy for me. No, I didn't want to spell curtness. Did it look like I wanted to spell that?

Anyways, I'm sure I forgot some stuff. Christmas-time aside, I think I'm losing touch with the old, hero-complex Louie that I once was.

I admit to it, obviously, as over my entire life I've done nothing but date people who have had one issue or another, and I try to make the best of it with them. Usually comes risky words and rough turns, but that's for another day. Any-who, that old part of me is fighting this part of me that wants me to get my ass on track, and wants me to drop some things along the way. Brutally.

Apart of this is not giving a single fuck about anything or anyone. Hence the being blunt and bad at receiving thought out gifts. However, there is some light at the end of this.

I'm learning to find the middle-zone. This goes out to everyone who is working on trying to find themselves, or just like seeing into the mind of a confused as fuck young adult.

Life is how you make it, as you will be told time and time again. More importantly, the people who will be there for you make it all worth-while. It's good to make new friendships, find new goals, but never forget the friends you have made. Those who fit this description are fully aware I'm talking about them. So to you, I say I love you. I know I may say it to you too often, or not often enough, but it's a necessary truth that I must convey. People have various opinions on the concept of love, if it's an overused term, or something that should never be used until the one has been found (I don't recall knowing anyone personally who thinks this, but I'm sure someone thinks it). Admittedly always being cynical, I still believe life always gets shittier, but you people make me a hypocrite.  For me, it's to show that there are people in my life who make me happy.

These people who make me stable, and keep me from losing it when I'm acting like an ass.
I need to stress the happy part again, as lately being happy is hard. Though you make it all worth it.

To you, I say thank you, and here's to another year of life. Let's keep it going, shall we?