Adding Humor to Life is Hard.

Though right now I'm going to try my best.

First off, I'm making the somewhat cliche warning that I'm writing this starting at...12:48 in the morning. I have no deadlines, just a head full of confusion and wondering about my life. Others, too, but I'm trying to work on myself before I work on dealing with other people.

Problem is, dealing with people is part of my problem.

I'm trying to find the right version of "me" to deal with the new directions my life should be going in. It's more than just social issues though.

I've tried drawing every day. The issue with this is that either it doesn't happen because I want to be social, or it ends up looking awful to me, and I see no good doodles or improvement.

Also, most are done at like...2-3 in the morning. Not the best time to do it.

Besides that, I developed some kind of apathy that allows me to be god awful at receiving presents. Though I may be choosing to make the mistake of revealing personal life on the internet anyway, I'm going to refrain from writing/drawing every detail. Here's the short version.

So, I've basically decided upon asking strictly for money to eventually use it for whatever I need come the next several holidays until I learn common courtesy in this area.

I've made out like a bandit though. My friend is almost done building me a goddamn gaming computer, something I've never had the beauty to experience. Picked up some video games through steam and on xbox. I have new noise canceling headphones that alienate me from the world when I need it, and I can still somewhat use my old headphones when I just want my bass and other audiophile nitpickings. Google chrome says nitpickings isn't a word. It also took forever to spell-check courtesy for me. No, I didn't want to spell curtness. Did it look like I wanted to spell that?

Anyways, I'm sure I forgot some stuff. Christmas-time aside, I think I'm losing touch with the old, hero-complex Louie that I once was.

I admit to it, obviously, as over my entire life I've done nothing but date people who have had one issue or another, and I try to make the best of it with them. Usually comes risky words and rough turns, but that's for another day. Any-who, that old part of me is fighting this part of me that wants me to get my ass on track, and wants me to drop some things along the way. Brutally.

Apart of this is not giving a single fuck about anything or anyone. Hence the being blunt and bad at receiving thought out gifts. However, there is some light at the end of this.

I'm learning to find the middle-zone. This goes out to everyone who is working on trying to find themselves, or just like seeing into the mind of a confused as fuck young adult.

Life is how you make it, as you will be told time and time again. More importantly, the people who will be there for you make it all worth-while. It's good to make new friendships, find new goals, but never forget the friends you have made. Those who fit this description are fully aware I'm talking about them. So to you, I say I love you. I know I may say it to you too often, or not often enough, but it's a necessary truth that I must convey. People have various opinions on the concept of love, if it's an overused term, or something that should never be used until the one has been found (I don't recall knowing anyone personally who thinks this, but I'm sure someone thinks it). Admittedly always being cynical, I still believe life always gets shittier, but you people make me a hypocrite.  For me, it's to show that there are people in my life who make me happy.

These people who make me stable, and keep me from losing it when I'm acting like an ass.
I need to stress the happy part again, as lately being happy is hard. Though you make it all worth it.

To you, I say thank you, and here's to another year of life. Let's keep it going, shall we?